Originally carried in Penthouse Magazine (Mare is quoted near the end of the article)

by Russ Farrell

A cop recently asked me a question. No, it wasn't what did I think I was doing driving 65 in a school zone. That was a different cop. This one, aware of my connection to this informative publication, wanted to know whether female ejaculation was fact or fiction. The thing is, I wasn't able to answer his question based on personal experience. None of my sexual partners has ever ejaculated, at least not with me. Some have gotten Wonder-bread moist. A few, I dare say, have even gotten wet. But not a one has emitted that radiant geyser of jism that I've seen featured in porn videos.

While much has been written on this important subject, including by my esteemed colleagues here, Xaviera Hollander and Dr. Judy Kuriansky, the jury still seems to be out. So in the interest of personal curiosity and public service, I decided to look into the matter. The first person I called was Betty Dodson, the sex coach who has probably taught more women to orgasm than anyone else in America. Her latest book, published last October, is "Orgasms for Two: The Joy of Partner Sex." Dodson told me that in her opinion female ejaculation is pure myth, a figment of the overactive, and ever-hopeful, male imagination. "Men love female ejaculation because now they know they made her come," Dodson said, sounding annoyed. "They made her come real hard."

In that case, I asked, what's that stuff they're spritzing when they come, if not come? "A lot of women are just expelling dilute urine," she stated flatly. In all her years in practice, she added, she's met only two female ejaculators. And she attributed their talent less to advanced sexual function than to simply having weak bladders. One of the women peed whenever she had sex. "Her partner would pullout thinking she'd come," the expert recalled. "[The squirter] came to me because she thought there had to be more to an orgasm. I worked with her on how to strengthen the PC muscle."

Sensing my disappointment, Dodson suggested I contact Kim Airs, who teaches a female-ejaculation workshop at Grand Opening!, her Boston sex shop. When I track her down, Airs informs me that not only is she an FE instructor, she's also an accomplished and copious ejaculator herself. In fact, she has recently done a live demo at a Boston radio station (after the studio was swaddled in plastic sheets). She has even provided incontrovertible proof of the phenomenon to three gynecologists whom she had met at a recent sexual health conference. "I kept it as clinical as possible," Airs reports. "We went up to one of their [hotel] rooms. I lay down and put a towel between my butt and the back of my knees and started masturbating for about 30 seconds. One of the doctors says, "I want to see this up close." Here gynecologists are, looking up twats every day, but they never see them in action."

Needless to say, the good doctors were impressed. So much so that they told Airs there was no need to continue their tutorial even though her tank was still half full. "One of them said, 'How can I have my wife be like that?' " Apparently he didn't mean ejaculatory, but shameless. "I can shoot about six feet," Airs boasts. To prove it, she offers to send me a home made video, directed by a former boyfriend, of her doing just that.

And in case there was any doubt in the viewer's mind that what Airs was emitting was something other than urine, the video, shot in real time, starts with the fetching sex instructor relieving herself in her Calvin Kleins while standing in her bathroom's shower stall. Her business done, she strips, gets down on the bathroom floor, and starts to pleasure herself. "I was so turned on," she tells me, "more from the fact of just getting videotaped, that it didn't take much to get going to shoot off. You couldn't believe the quantity."I'll happily testify to that. In the video, Airs unleashes a veritable Niagara of ejaculate. Just when I thought she was through, she played with herself some more and turned into a human water fountain a second time. Then, after you'd be willing to place bets that nobody, no matter how turned on they were or how much apple juice they'd consumed; could do it again, Airs sprayed the tiles a third time. She was starting to turn me into a believer. Unfortunately, her home video isn't available to the general public. But one flick that is, and that happens to be on sale at Grandopening.com, is titled How to Female Ejaculate.

It begins rather dryly, if you'll pardon the expression, with a mistress of ceremonies offering an anatomy lesson. Supposedly the urethra sponge, also known as the G spot, functions as the female equivalent of the male prostate. Properly primed (ejaculators report they require a specific type of pressure to the G spot in addition to being "relaxed, open, and without any expectations," as one Vixen puts it), the sponge becomes supersaturated and the dam bursts.One big difference between male and female ejaculation is that women can ejaculate without orgasming. "It's not really come in that sense," Kim Airs explains. "It's part of the wave of turn-on and orgasm."

To learn more about the science of female ejaculation, visit DoctorG.com. Dr. Gary Schubach has devoted much of his career to the study of this joyous phenomenon, going so far as to perform a chemical analysis on the ejaculate of several women. His conclusion, if you'll allow me to paraphrase: "It's piss-lite, containing greatly reduced amounts of urea and creatinine, the primary components of urine. "There appears to be a process that goes on during sensual or sexual stimulation and excitement that affects the chemical composition of urine," says Schubach.

The babes who star in How to Female Ejaculate (I was especially smitten by one waif who wears little besides suspenders, and another who looks like a gorgeous Park Avenue housewife who spends all her time at the gym) say the same thing, if slightly less clinically. "It smells like buttery popcorn," contends one goddess~ "Mine smells more earthy, like putting your nose to the forest floor," observes another.I did briefly consider turning it off when they started discussing the viscosity of their secretions. But then, all of a sudden, they whipped out their sex toys, started to play with themselves, and shot sparkling jets of ejaculate in one another's direction. Had I been there during filming, I have no doubt I'd have been tempted to throw a coin in the puddle forming in the middle of the room and make a wish.The reason more women aren't ejaculatory, Kim Airs says, is because they mistake the desire to ejaculate for the urge to pee and withhold it, fearing it's the latter. "A lot of times they'll ejaculate when they have a wild sexual encounter," Airs says of the students who come to her workshop. "They're not worried about losing control, about looking funny. A lot of women won't go there during sex."

One who does go there time and again is the infamous Doctor Ducky Doolittle. Her goal in "Get Wet," her aptly titled class on G-spotting and female ejaculation, is, as a former boyfriend did for her, to give women permission to soak their bed sheets"I had a lover," she says, "who was like, 'Go for it. I love it when you do this. This isn't pee.' It brought my confidence up."The first time I ejaculated, I was 18," Doolittle continues, talking about another ex. "We didn't know what it was, and it scared us so bad we ran into the shower. It took years before I realized that this was actually a great thing."

Among those who have never been squeamish about female ejaculate, which they call Amrita, are practitioners of tantra. Indeed, Charles Muir, a California tantric-sex guru, boasts that 75 percent of the women in his intermediate workshop turn into human water toys using "sacred spot massage," tantra's euphemism for stimulating the G spot.

"We have a nice stack of fluffy towels by the bed," confides Caroline Muir, one of the stars of Secrets of Female Sexual Ecstasy, available at www.sourcetantra.com. In the video, Caroline produces so much Amrita, you could mistake her for a mountain stream.

"I've had people tell me they bought flannel-covered plastic sheets. The ejaculate does dry quickly and doesn't stain, but there's so much of it sometimes, you wouldn't want to waste the time it takes to dry.

"One Muir disciple who claims to measure her Amrita in quarts rather than teaspoons is Marta Lucia, a beautiful 29 year old tantric-sex instructor. (And if you don't believe me, you can check her out at www.goddesstemple.com/marta.) Indeed, Lucia says she recently almost drowned one of her lovers. "I was having the best time on top of him and I just flooded him," she says. "His belly was full of fluid, and his lap. I started spreading it all over my body and all over him. It's such sacred fluid." She ejaculated in another partner's mouth. "He felt totally blessed," she says. "It was like he'd drunk some kind of nectar that made him feel potent. It's kind of like an elixir from the gods."

It seems only a matter of time until female ejaculate is bottled and sold for medicinal properties. Mare Simone, a San Diego tantric-sex instructor, remembers one exceptional-and exceptionally wet-advanced tantric-sex workshop with the Muirs. It culminated when a quadriplegic was wheeled into the room. "Charles wanted to give him a special gift, so he brought this man to our graduation party, and we took him out of his wheelchair and undressed him. We removed his catheter, and all of us were massaging him together," says Simone, referring to the seven naked women in the advanced workshop. "He said the only place he had feeling was the tip of his penis, so I touched the tip of his penis to the top of my clitoris and asked him if the could feel that."

What happened next was so moving that Simone gets choked up discussing it. "When he said that he could [feel my clitoris], I felt this flood of energy come through me. It was like a tidal wave. I felt myself flood him; I bathed him."

Apparently the phenomenon is contagious. "Women can activate one another," Caroline Muir claims. "They don't even have to be touching each other sexually. One ejaculatory woman can get another woman to ejaculate if they just ride the energy with each other. I know there are a lot of gay women having fun with this."

Indeed, Simone's eruption triggered the other goddesses in the room. "Four out of seven ejaculated on him that day," she says of the lucky quadriplegic. "At the end of the experience, when we were all lying there, he said, 'I feel like I'm about to move my toe.' And he moved his toe. I actually had the feeling that if we continued to do this on a regular basis he'd be able to walk again."